7 things I wish I knew in my 20's

Your twenties can feel chaotic, confusing, and full of pressure to have it all figured out. In this episode, I share seven crucial truths that would have saved me unnecessary stress and self-doubt:

• Embrace the mess—you don’t need all the answers
• Find contentment in your authentic self, not external validation
• Surround yourself with people who celebrate your growth
• Rest is essential, not a reward
• Protect your energy and focus on what truly matters
• Confidence comes from quiet trust, not volume
• Growth is natural, even if it unsettles others

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Your words help more people discover these conversations and join my little community here. So hit those stars, leave a quick note and let me know what's resonating with you. I read every single one every time and, honestly, they make my day.

Chapters

• 0:00 The Chaos of Your Twenties
• 1:06 You Don't Need It All Figured Out
• 2:25 Validation Won't Give You Peace
• 3:19 Relationships Shape Your Reality
• 4:11 Rest Is Not a Reward
• 4:59 Not Everything Deserves Your Energy
• 5:52 Confidence and Permission to Change
• 7:56 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

Transcript

Speaker 0: 0:00

You know how people say your 20s are the best years of your life. Yeah, they forget to mention the chaos, the feeling of finding yourself at crossroads, the instant noodles for dinner, chasing the wrong people or rather not your type of people the late night panicking and googling what am I even doing with my life? Existential crisis sort of situation. So in the 20s, I thought I knew everything, but turns out I knew nothing. The mistakes expensive, the lessons brutal, the growth unstoppable. Hi, I'm the Bali speaker, storyteller and a woman who learned the hard way that life doesn't give you gold stars for doing things right. Today, in this episode, I'm opening up my personal time capsule and sharing the seven truths I wish I could tattoo on my 20-year-old self, the ones that would have saved me from ugly crying and thinking that I have to have it all figured out. So, whether you're in your 20s, looking back on them or just bracing what's ahead, buckle up. This is what I wish I knew in my 20s. So let's jump right into it and also listen in to the beautiful stories behind them. Starting with, you don't have to have it all figured out. Okay, just let's get this one out of the way, because if you're anything like me, type A gold star chaser, checklist addict then your is probably felt like a constant sprint towards something, something, always so. For me it was the job, the title, the what do you do? Answer that didn't make me feel small. Now I remember accepting a job offer that sounded glamorous Consulting and lots of promise for great travel, a fancy office, everything. But every morning I'd sit in my car and just felt this quiet ache in my chest, like it wasn't panic, it wasn't dread, but just some sort of disconnection. And I didn't hate it, I just didn't feel anything. And yet I stayed, because I thought changing paths meant failure, because it was hard to accept how can I be bad at something, how can I always dream of something and still not be good at it? Right, and I thought it was failure. But here's the thing your 20s aren't the final draft. They are the messy first chapters. They're not about having the answers, but they're about collecting the questions. Yeah, collecting the questions. That's such a powerful shift in the perspective and you're not behind, you're building, and that's why you're brave.

Speaker 0: 2:25

Number two validation. And validation won't give you peace Oof, this one took me so long to learn. I think I'm still not very there, but still trying so much. Now let me paint a picture. I once spent almost two hours cleaning rather de-cleaning my place to be a better host. Like I, was obsessed literally obsessed with the idea of cleaning, and maybe because I wanted the good no, the great host title. I wanted the validation, the omg, you're killing it, comments, and for what? For like 10, 20 seconds of dopamine. Now, instead, here's what I learned you can have a thousand people clapping for you and still feel empty within. Still feel empty inside If you haven't learned how to clap for your own self and the peace that you're craving. It doesn't come from praise. It comes from alignment, from doing what feels true even if no one's watching you. So start choosing yourself, even when no one's clapping.

Speaker 0: 3:19

Number three is that your relationships shape your reality, even if you don't want to accept it. Yeah, in my early 20s I held on to friendships because of history, not harmony. There was this one friend we'd been close since high school, but every time we hung out I'd leave feeling less, you know, less than before, like I had to shrink my excitement, dim my light, dim my spark and defend my choices. And it took me years to realize just because you love someone doesn't mean they get a front row seat in your life yeah, they don't. Because you love someone doesn't mean they get a front row seat in your life yeah, they don't. The people you spend time with will either water your growth or stunt it. So surround yourself with people who celebrate your wins and hold space for your lows and reflect the version of you that's. That's becoming, that you are becoming, not just the version that you've always been in the past.

Speaker 0: 4:08

Number four and next one here is that rest is not a reward. I used to treat rest like dessert, like something sweet you only get if you finish everything on your plate. But motherhood, life and some difficult time came all knocking at once and forced me to rethink that entirely. And then rest wasn't a luxury anymore, it was survival. Why did it take my body breaking down for me to listen? Your body is not a machine. It's your home, it's your temple. You don't need to own your rest. You need to honor it, you need to appreciate it, and the more you listen to your body, the more you listen to your mind and the more you listen to your soul, the more energy you'll have to build the life you always want. So rest is how you rebuild, rest is how you energize. Do not wait to rest until you're forced to.

Speaker 0: 4:55

Then is again on the lines of energy that not everything deserves your energy. Let me tell you 20 something. Me was ready to fight every battle. Someone misunderstood me. I'd write a paragraph long explanation. Believe me, I would write 20 pages worth of PDF, and no exaggeration here. Someone didn't like me. I would overanalyze it to death. I would overanalyze it two hours and I would overanalyze it for days. But now silence is my favorite power move. You don't like me, that's okay. You don't owe anybody complete access to you. You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to. Protecting your peace is not rude, it's wise. And here's a quick rule I try to live by. If it won't matter to you in five years, do not give it more than five minutes of your energy today. Your time, your attention, they're your currency. Spend them wisely.

Speaker 0: 5:47

Then is confidence, and this is something that I've always struggled with. Confidence isn't loud, it's quiet trust. In my 20s, for a majority of my life, I thought confidence meant being outspoken, being assertive, a little boss babe. Energy all the time, like all the time. But you know what I've realized? The most confident people I've met aren't the loudest in the room, they're the calmest. Yeah, that sounds like a contradiction, but that's true. Confidence is the way you hold yourself when you're unsure, not when everything's perfect or when everything's going as per the plan. It's the quiet strength. It's I'll figure it out. It's the silent. I know who I am. I remember walking into a job interview once, completely by accident, like completely unprepared, and I wanted to bolt, but instead I owned it. I said well, clearly I read the room wrong, but I promise I read the role right. We laughed and that gave me the job. So confidence isn't about getting it right. It's about trusting that you'll rise no matter what happens.

Speaker 0: 6:52

And the seventh one on this list is that you're allowed to change. Quite frankly, this one might be the most important. You're allowed to change. This one might be the most important you're allowed to change, and for the longest time. For for as long as I remember, I used to cling to old versions of me, old versions of myself the achiever, the go-getter, the people pleaser and the girl who never said no. Because if I let those go, who was I really? Deep down? Would people still love me if I wasn't constantly useful, productive, valuable or agreeable.

Speaker 0: 7:22

But think about it. Think of change as not betrayal, but think of it as evolution. You don't owe anyone your old self, not your friends, not even your past self, not your family. You give yourself permission to evolve, to pivot, to save and to think to yourself. That used to fit, but it doesn't anymore. Your growth will unsettle people who benefited from your small aversion. Let it. You were never meant to stay the same.

Speaker 0: 7:47

So there you have it Seven things I wish I knew in my 20s, spoken from a heart that's lived through the ache, the wonder, the confusion and the clarity that follows. And these are not just lessons, these are not lifelines and these are not hacks. And if even one of them made you feel lighter, breathe a little deeper today, I'm glad I shared them. And if this episode resonated with you, please pass it to someone who might need it, maybe your younger sibling or best friend or 20 year old self sitting somewhere inside you still trying to figure it all out. And if you're navigating your 20s, keep going.

Speaker 0: 8:22

There's no right timeline, just your timeline. Trust the process and until next time, be kind to yourself. You're not too late. You're never late, you're not lost. Hey, if you enjoyed today's episode, it would mean the world to me if you could take a minute to rate and review this podcast. Your words help more people discover these conversations and join my letter community here. So hit those stars, leave a quick note and let me know what's resonating with you. I read every single one every time and, honestly, they make my day. Until next time, buh-bye.